Create an account. Edit this Article. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Cookie Settings. Learn why people trust wikiHow. Download Article Explore this Article parts. Additional Help. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Part 1. Don't break up with your partner by text, phone or email. This is disrespectful, and for your soon-to-be ex, it can feel like you're being evasive.
Have the decency to do it privately and in person. For one thing, it gives both people a chance to talk and reflect on the situation. And even though it will be harder to do, it will most likely lead to less drama, which is a good thing. Don't place blame solely on the other person for the breakup. Things are never that simple. Be prepared to discuss your relationship without pointing your finger. In an effort to be fair, and to not have your ex-girlfriend feel like she is directly responsible for the end of the relationship, be sure to mention the things that you could have changed to make the relationship better.
In some cases, the blame will be solely on the other person. In those situations, it's okay to tell it like it is. If your girlfriend is cheating, abusing drugs, manipulative, or increasingly disrespecting you, you can lay the blame directly on her actions.
In most cases, this can cause an argument, so be prepared. The upside is that you're being honest with both yourself and her why the relationship didn't work, leaving you both with a better chance of finding lasting love later on.
Isn't that what you both want? Don't lead your ex on. If you don't want to be friends afterward, don't leave the door open for that possibility. Find a nice way to say it. Instead of "Oh yeah, and I don't want to stay friends afterwards, just so you know," try something like "You know that I care for you. I just don't think it will be healthy for either of us to stay friends immediately after we break up.
Hopefully sometime down the road, when we've both figured stuff out, we can get to that place. Don't be a blabbermouth. Use discretion when telling mutual friends about your break up. Bragging or gossiping could be very hurtful to someone who may already be in a fragile emotional state. Tell your close friends, but don't publicize your breakup to acquaintances or people you hardly know. It's probably a good idea to tell your close friends what happened between you and your ex.
It's probably not such a great idea to start telling your entire social circle via Facebook, or every girl in your school, that you and your ex are history.
It just smacks of desperation. Don't be petty. Being "petty" can be hard to define, but it usually includes doing things that you wouldn't want your girlfriend to do with you if she were hypothetically breaking up with you. This is called the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It's a great rule. If something is simmering between you and another girl, have the decency to wait a bit, really think about your feelings, and break up with your current girlfriend before you do anything with the other girl.
It will look better to your ex, and feel better for you. Don't treat them poorly before the relationship has ended. Better yet, don't treat them poorly at all. If you're still in a relationship, you owe something to the other person. It's not really okay to check out before things have ended. If you don't feel like being nice to your girlfriend, you owe it to her to give her the opportunity to find someone who can. Part 2.
Try to minimize the heartache. There is no way around the fact that this is going to hurt the other person. It's just like ripping off a bandage — if you rip it off all in one go, the pain will be over quickly, but if you do it slowly, it will hurt for longer. Even if you don't really feel like it, offer hugs and other appropriate signs of affection if your ex looks like she needs it.
Be reassuring, not selfish. Find the right time to break up. Obviously, there's never a perfect time. And if you rush into a difficult conversation without thinking it through, you may say things you regret. Something in the middle works best: Think things through so you're clear with yourself on why you want to break up. Then act. Every situation is different. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to breaking up.
But there are some general "do's and don'ts" you can keep in mind as you start thinking about having that break-up conversation. These "dos and don'ts" aren't just for break-ups.
If someone asks you out but you're not really interested, you can follow the same guidelines for letting that person down gently. You've made the decision to break up. Now you need to find a good time to talk — and a way to have the conversation that's respectful, fair, clear, and kind. Break-ups are more than just planning what to say.
You also want to consider how you will say it. Here are some examples of what you might say. Use these ideas and modify them to fit your situation and style:. Whether they last a long time or a short time, relationships can have special meaning and value.
Each relationship can teach us something about ourselves, another person, and what we want and need in a future partner. It's a chance for us to learn to care about another person and to experience being cared about.
A break-up is an opportunity to learn, too. It's not easy. But it's a chance to do your best to respect another person's feelings. Ending a relationship — as hard as it is — builds our skills when it comes to being honest and kind during difficult conversations.
Reviewed by: KidsHealth Medical Experts. Larger text size Large text size Regular text size. When Relationships End In the beginning, it's exciting. The happiness and excitement of a new relationship can overpower everything else Nothing stays new forever, though.
Avoid It? Or Get it Over With? P Break-up Do's and Don'ts Every situation is different. DO: Think over what you want and why you want it. Take time to consider your feelings and the reasons for your decision.
Be true to yourself. Even if the other person might be hurt by your decision, it's OK to do what's right for you. You just need to do it in a sensitive way. Think about what you'll say and how the other person might react. Will your BF or GF be surprised? Or even relieved? It really comes down to what kind of asshole do you want to be? It is indeed admirable and the right thing to do. And while many women might scoff at that and call him a jerk, I found his note to be incredibly thoughtful.
He took the time to tell me how much he enjoyed our time together and that I did nothing wrong. He ended up reconnecting with his ex of seven years.
He said he wished things were different or that we met at another time and he hoped that one day we could be friends. And it turns out, a year later, we are incredibly close friends. United States.
Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. How to Eat Like Chris Hemsworth. Getty Images. The last time I was dumped, it was via phone, and we had dated for three months, and it was semi-long distance, about an hour away.
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